Red flowers on water


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Red flowers on water, watercolour on paper, 2016

A few months have past since my last post. My soul was yearning for a deep change in my life and this year has brought the response. The response hidden in events, which I couldn’t expect. I have met many women who found their inner truth and strength. Some of them travel around the world sharing with everyone who are ready to open to the Mystery of this Life, some follow their call and pursue a path of healing others, based on different traditions, some are not known (yet) and lead a courageous life breaking the stereotypes about how life should look like. I learnt from each of them and I am deeply grateful that Life brought them on my path… The meetings have quickly passed but the essence of them resonated with something in me, and Life expected from me to pursue this path on my own, in my own way.

I was also touched by another psychotic episode (second time in my life, few years after the first one, I really didn’t expect it!) and have spent a few weeks recovering from it.  I was blessed with a presence of a caring man in my life, my partner, who supported me through all of that. But the darkest caves of our psyche we need to visit on our own. Paradoxically, as often it is on a path of a Goddess, the illness brought rapid inner development, I went deeper and deeper into my own Truth. I am today much stronger, much more patient and much more trusting in my own guidance, my own voice, my own intuition.

The meetings in women circles, time spent in satsangs, time spent sitting with myself in meditation and simply being, and time spent with women who are much deeper on a path of awakening than myself, have brought deep inner changes. Yet I still hold on as I know deep in myself, the time is for me to continue on a path before I could fully share the fruits of my inner journey.

Today I share with you a painting of Red Flowers on Water, which I painted before all of it has happened, just at the beginning of this year during a week spent with a women who has awakened to her Truth (I wrote about this meeting in here). I didn’t know what this year will bring and couldn’t imagine that there will be an illness I will have to go through, and that I will follow my inner guidance which will lead me to all of those meetings. And that I will respond to the call and all of it will bring me to my femininity. And I know and deeply feel it is only the beginning.

Red Flowers on water, the pain and beauty that lead me to the deep waters of Truth, Blessing and Love. My soul knew before I could have known.

Thank you! Thank you Dorota, Maha Maya Noor, Isaac, Meike, Jessica, Anne-marie, Ananta, Claudia and thank you all the women I have met in the women circles and thank you all the men and women I have met in the satsangs…

Few months ago a vision has come to me. I saw a Tribe of Light, I heard a voice: ‘You are one of us and we will manifest in your Life’. I feel like crying, I am shivering when I am writing those words as  I know it is happening everywhere today in the world. And here is the poem I wrote today.

I feel that the time has come
to write New Poems,
the old ones need to be burnt in a fire of my soul.

Today I danced nakedly, 
I meditated,
I burnt the sacred wood of paulo santo,
and in its smoke I invited
this intention:
Shall I live from the deepest Truth.

I feel that I have opened the gates
and with each step I am walking deeper into the depths
through my body, through my breath,
through my voice,
through a deep silence

to my Self, to my Self
and to you Sister, and to you Brother,
and to you my Beloved Tribe of Love.